Conversations with Siri, Volume 2

Many thanks to the WordPress community for the Fresh Pressed and for all your nice visits and comments! Siri’s got quite a little personality behind that flat exterior. She’s growing on me, but as you can see in Volume Two of our conversations, we still have our communication problems.

I tried to celebrate a big day with the simple standard greeting and she got strangely defensive. Even a little passive-aggressive.

If I try to get to know her, she’s still so evasive.

But boy can she soak up those compliments with all the fake modesty she can muster…One day, I just completely lost my temper with her, and she stayed so infuriatingly rational in her response.

Other times, I don’t think she had any idea what she was saying.

Finally I calmed down, and tried to make up with her. Only to find that she was really quite alright.

I think she just fundamentally has some existential identity problems.

But she gives some decent advice, nonetheless. Minus the “avoid eating fat” part. Way off base on that one, Siri, way off base.

Well, at the end of it all, I just wanted to wrap things up with a cozy bedtime story. It was off to a rough start at first…

But once she got going (talking about herself, of course), she had quite a story to tell.

The end.

 

 

Why So Siri-ous?

Posts have all been more on the serious side as of late. Which means a less Siri-ous post is way overdue. So…here is the visual layout of my very convoluted relationship with Siri. We’re working through our issues but I think it’s going to take some time.

Because as you can see… sometimes she’s really fickle.

She can be very insecure…She avoids talking about her past a lot.She kind of struggles to maintain a good sense of humor.She doesn’t seem to know how to receive compliments, and barely knows how to return them either.Once in a while she can be easygoing.But I’m not sure we have the same worldview, on a lot of levels.There are times when I catch her talking to herself, and it makes me wonder.
She doesn’t seem comfortable being honest with me.Sometimes she is borderline cocky.
Other times, she can be rather controlling.Again, her insecurities get the best of her, and I worry she’ll never believe me when I tell her how I feel.Once in awhile though, she can be sweet, in this cheesy kind of way.She keeps telling me that she’s working on the new and improved version of herself, but I don’t know. It may or may not work out.

 

too small for my own good

Life nowadays always seems to feel so full and often cluttered, both externally and internally. I suppose to a certain degree, that just comes with the territory of working full-time as a nurse and being married to a pastor. Alas, if my life and my heart didn’t feel full, it would probably mean to some extent that I didn’t care as much as I probably ought to about these contexts in which I live. All that being said, I am learning to value self-care more than ever these days, and so much of that involves the simplifying of all that is within my power to simplify.

So I’m trying to make changes, some small, some big, all significant in their own right.

–       I am learning to bite the bullet and take care of those things that seem like a hassle at the moment, recognizing that if I just take the typically less than five minutes to just get them out of the way, it will make my life much easier in the long run. For example: Putting things in their proper place at home before a bigger mess builds up. Untangling my IV lines at the start of a shift rather than mid-way through when I’m feeling as wound up as my lines are. This unclutters both the external, as well as the internal. I’m no longer trying to remember or keep track of yet another thing I need to take care of, saving my already tired brain from information overload.

–       I am cutting down on the time spent checking email and perusing Facebook. The iPhone was a terrible culprit in this. I realized it started getting really bad when I started to use my iPhone as my second alarm clock, in case my bedside one didn’t go off. This was fine in and of itself, but I kept the phone too close to me at night, and as a light sleeper, I could hear it buzz when a new email or Facebook post came through. Slowly I fell into the bad habit of checking it in the middle of the night, and I can hear all your eyes rolling at me now. Terrible idea, I know. I think I’ve learned my lesson and I’m keeping that phone out of reach at night now. The people behind the iPhone and Facebook know human tendencies and weaknesses all too well. They’re not dumb. They know what will sell, what will pull us in and keep us there, and why. The iPhone and Facebook make things too easy, reducing my life and entertainment and everyone else’s life to this gadget in my hand, a gadget that is too small for my own good. True life is bigger than this, and true life is quieter than this. I desperately need to regain life again.

–       Throwing things away. Still working on this one. Ugh.

–       I am going to counseling again. It is expensive, but this is by far the best financial investment I could make in my overall well-being at this point in time. I realize there is a stigma in some peoples’ minds about counseling and people who go to see counselors, but that’s ok. I believe deeply that everyone can benefit from counseling if and when they are open to it. I know I have blind spots in my life. I am not perfect. I find myself in life situations that are often beyond me – beyond my experiences, beyond my wisdom, beyond my own capability to sort through in healthy ways with a perspective beyond my own limited view. Other people, some whom I love very deeply, are affected by my responses to these life situations. Having a counselor speak into my life about areas where I am not healthy, about burdens that are not mine to carry (though I thought they were), about practical things I can do to guard my sanity, has been an absolute gift from God.

–       I am learning to sit still. This is hard. I am relatively quiet and mellow in personality but I am Type A nonetheless in terms of my compulsions to stay busy and be over-productive. But these ambitions to be over-productive can also be too small for my own good. Sometimes, oftentimes, no….all the time, I need to come back to what is better for my soul. To do what I need to do, but to rest when I need to rest. To pray and to remember that I am not God. He is.

I know life is always going to be busy and complicated to a certain, unavoidable degree. But I’m learning, or perhaps re-learning, how to slow down from the madness where I can –  because sometimes, especially in our society, I think we honestly forget that we actually can – and constantly remind myself where my heart’s true home is.

One thing I have desired of the Lord,

That will I seek;

That I may dwell in the house of the Lord

All the days of my life,

To behold the beauty of the Lord,

And to inquire in His temple.

For in the time of trouble

He shall hide me in His pavilion;

In the secret place of His tabernacle

He shall hide me;

He shall set me high upon a rock.

– Psalm 27:4-5