The older I get, the more my perspective on weddings changes. Don’t get me wrong. The girly girl in me loves a beautiful wedding. I still tear up, I’m still a sucker for the moment the minister declares, “You may kiss your bride.” The amateur photographer in me loves a decked-out venue with creative décor. I still love the flowers and up-dos and fun bowties and slick getaway cars announcing “Just Married”. I adore all of it.
But when it comes time for the vows, I’m less romantic. I think a lot more. I wonder if they hear themselves, what they are saying, what they are promising. I wonder if I heard myself not a few years ago when I proclaimed, “For better or for worse.”
The first wedding I attended this year happened just a month after the bride’s mom passed away after many, many years of health problems compounded by more health problems. The bride’s mom and dad remained fiercely in love through it all, as she was sick through the majority of their marriage, and he poured out his life to care for her, even as they raised their children and he pastored two churches. The bride and groom had scrambled to help plan her memorial service, so that they could then finish their wedding preparations. When they stood in front of their friends and family and vowed, “For better or for worse, in sickness and in health, til death do us part,” there was not a dry eye in that place. They knew, from a very delicate and realistic place, what they were committing to.
About a month ago, I received an email from one of the missionaries in Thailand whom I was able to financially support through my anti-human trafficking photo fundraiser project. She wrote of how her husband has recently been involved in some exciting but dangerous operations to help apprehend some of the perpetrators. This is a couple who met and married in the States, originally working as CPAs. Stable and successful in every worldly sense, they undoubtedly never dreamt on their wedding day that they would end up raising their two young children in Thailand, sacrificing the comforts of the life they knew, sacrificing time with one another and putting the husband in harm’s way to fight global human trafficking. “For richer or for poorer.”
Also within recent months, a beloved coworker was diagnosed, through the most divinely providential set of unforeseeable circumstances, with a malignant brain tumor. He and his wife, both exceptional athletes, undoubtedly fell in love in part due to their mutual passion for the outdoors and for their respective sports. We are all optimistic for his recovery, and I love that he has already, in faith, signed up for future races. But surely they never saw this curve ball coming at this stage in life. “In sickness and in health.”
When two people find each other, fall in love, and persevere through the ups and downs of courtship to even make it to their wedding day, it is a gift, it is hard work, it is a miracle. When two people hold fast to their vows from that day, for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, in light of every curve ball and adaptation and sacrifice,
it is, at the risk of sounding cliché and cheesy,