It’s been lamentably quiet here in my blogging world, as all my energy to articulate clear thoughts has been poured into preparing for what is arguably one of the biggest events of my life – giving a TEDx Talk. It is 11 days away and it still feels incredibly unreal, despite the fact that I have been immersed in preparation ever since I got that incredible “Congratulations!” email in late June.
The writer in me wants to compose a smoother reflection on the experience thus far, but efficiency and quite honestly, exhaustion, drive me to share some thoughts via the “FAQ” format for now.
How did you even get the opportunity to do a TEDx Talk?
Those who know me and who have been following my journey awhile know that I’ve had a growing passion to build – and be – a voice for nurses, to begin and develop conversations about the internal things nurses experience as we care for people all along the spectrum of health and illness, hope and despair, deep love and profound loss. One day, I posted on Facebook about how appalled I was at the lack of books and video resources that hit on these topics in a more honest, gritty, deeper way. Somewhere in that Facebook conversation, I said I would love to do a TED Talk about nursing. A friend saw the comment and connected me to her friend who just happened to be the Director at TEDxPasadenaWomen as they just happened to be looking for applications for TEDx speakers. It was May 28, three days before the deadline and my parents were over to help with my kids, so I jumped on my “free time” and threw together an application, including a one-minute selfie video of me talking about my Big Idea. I submitted the application and held my breath for a month, playing all kinds of mind games with myself. I swung between “You’ll be relieved if they say no! Less stress and less work in your already full life”, and “You really, really, REALLY want to do this!!!”
It was a Saturday at work when I fully did NOT expect to hear back since it was a weekend. I checked my email and my jaw dropped as I saw the word “Congratulations!” from the TEDx Director. I was literally shaking, and quite honestly for a good five minutes, I thought to myself, “I can still say no! … Who am I kidding, I can’t say no!” And so, the incredible journey began.
How has the process been to prepare a TEDx Talk?
The writer in me loves to find words for deep thoughts and issues, so that passion translated over into finding words for a Talk. However, it is an altogether different process to write out a text that you will be speaking, as naturally and conversation-style as possible, rather than putting on paper for people to read. I had to learn to write for speaking, which required a lot of reading out loud, and video-taping myself, to get a sense of what works with speech versus written text.
I also had to learn how to talk about nursing for an entirely different audience. Up until now, my main audience really has been nurses, though many non-medical friends follow and seem to understand and appreciate my blogs about my nursing experiences and reflections. But for the first time, I had to think about how to concisely talk about a very big topic to a very broad audience (aka anyone and everyone!).
This leads me to the next challenge I encountered, which was probably the most arduous of all. I had to learn how to shift my mentality (and all my training, really) about speaking on a topic the way I would present a lecture to a class or at a conference – talking about one topic but with 1.) usually at least 30-45 minutes; and 2.) the liberty to address one general topic but touching on multi-faceted ideas. I had to go from this traditional style of public speaking, to the most razor-focused (and thus intense, and most agonizingly thought-through) 8-9 minute Talk on literally one idea, not one topic with multi-faceted ideas. At one point in my process, I had to essentially revamp my entire Talk, which was terribly painful at the time, but after working through it, so much better because it is truly so much more clear.
How do you feel about this kind of public speaking?
I actually love public speaking, which is funny because in person, I tend to be a rather quiet, somewhat shy person who is very uncomfortable with much attention. But I love the ability to impart thoughts – and hopefully some wisdom and inspiration – to a crowd of people. Something about it is exhilarating and life-giving to me.
I do have to memorize the Talk, which actually hasn’t been as hard as I thought it would be. This really does help me feel like I will be speaking to the live audience, and the camera, from my core, which is an entirely different feeling than presenting a lecture from notes. It’s an indescribable connection to seek both with my own self, and with others.
What other things have stood out to you about the experience?
I have been fascinated with how the TED/TEDx experience truly seeks to draw out the authentic person behind the speaker. Of course, they want the “big idea,” but they also want it to come from the speaker’s own voice, the speaker’s own style of dress (What?? I can wear jeans to this instead of a business-style dress??), and all things that reflect who the speaker truly is.
I have also been challenged to work through how I handle a whole new level of “fame,” for lack of better words (because honestly, I don’t feel famous!) beyond what work I’ve already done for the American Journal of Nursing. How much attention do I take away from my sweet family to pursue this kind of dream experience? How much do I let it get to my head? How do I fare under the stress and pressure? I’ve written a separate reflection about my spiritual life in this whole TEDx Talk experience here; but for now, suffice to say, I have deeply appreciated the immeasurable support and grace that my husband, kids and parents have shown me as I have at times really struggled to navigate this new level of experience.
The Talk is 11 days away! How are you feeling?
I actually feel good! Nervous and excited of course, but I feel that the Talk is really engrained in me, and my test run with a smaller audience a couple days ago went very well. As I received positive feedback and very helpful fine-tuning tips from my friends and some of the TEDx team, I really just sat in awe of the fact that this was all coming together. I really just felt a sense of God’s generous purpose over this, and felt amazed that He helped bring this together at what has felt at times to be the worst time to be trying to do such a big project (I’m a working mother with two very young children! There is nothing about my life that feels focused enough to generate this Talk but somehow it happened. It has been the sheer grace of God.) It feels so cliché to say, but I truly just feel that I have been called to this, and because of that, God has made the way.
If I can’t attend, how can I see the Talk?
It will be live-streamed that day, and will be up on YouTube later. I will be sure to come back here and post links!
Thank you for your interest and support! 11 days and counting!